Man I used to love this movie. I remember being a little kid and seeing the movie poster and thinking how kickass it was going to be. Dolph Lundgren was the man, the He-Man if you will (and I am sure I’ll be reviewing “Masters of the Universe” in another Back in the Day).If you have not seen “Showdown in Little Tokyo,” let me break it down for you. Dolph Lundgren plays a rebel cop (you can tell he is a rebel because of his unorthodox leather jacket with Chinese symbol on the back) who beats the shit out of Asian gangs. The members of the gang barely meet a height requirement for a roller coaster, so big ass Dolph easily just tosses them like dwarves. He is partnered with Brandon Lee and culture shock ensues. Then we meet Boss Man #1 (you can tell he is evil because he is a minority and his body is covered in tattoos), and learn that he killed Lundgren’s parents when he was a child, for no reason at all as far as I am concerned because the movie never explains. So the dwarf ass kicking ensues and we get to see naked Tia Carrere, although it’s obviously a body double (you can tell it’s a body double because her breasts suddenly triple in size when the robe comes off). Of course we get cool locations like bathhouses and upscale sushi joints (you can tell it is an upscale sushi place because all the patrons eat sushi off of naked women). All of this packaged with a nice little "Rocky" style training montage with a six foot five blond cop kicking a bag and screaming in slow motion.
I have learned a lot from watching this movie again. I have learned that if you do not dress in the conventional police uniform, you are not held to the same standards other police officers are held to (i.e. warrants, reading people their rights and reloading a weapon). I learned that Dolph Lundgren can lift an entire car on its side and use it as a shield. I also learned that there was some homosexual tension between Dolph and Brandon Lee. Just before a massive shootout happens, Lee proceeds to explain, “if we die I want you to know that you have the biggest penis I have ever seen on an old man.” What? Creepy. I guess the most innovative moment in the movie came when Boss Man #1 died on a Wheel of Fortune type deal as fireworks burned his body death.This film is the first time I remember seeing classic action cop stereotypes, such as owning an upscale loft on a cop’s salary. Or how about when you have a gun (in this case a desert eagle) and you roll across the floor while firing?
This film came packaged with “Bloodsport,” another movie I remember loving as a child. All in all, five bucks was worth spending in order to relive childhood memories (and IQ level).
So they all get to the island where we meet the other contestants, one of which is the black guy with green hair and a green goatee. Fitting with the stereotypical black guy, this one can't stop dancing or spouting ebonics. Nice. So then we meet Donovan, played by master of direct to video Mr. Eric Roberts himself. So a bunch more shit happens and we get wall to wall action. 
The four women (the fourth being Sarah Carter who played Helena) made the movie work because none of them took it very seriously. They knew the movie was tongue in cheek and made fun of itself, and they had fun with their performances. It didn't hurt that all of them looked great in a bikini, too.
I never would have seen this in the theater in a million years, even though it was light years away from the douche baggery that was "Charlie's Angels." This was not even a bad video game movie either. There have been much worse. "Doom," "Mortal Kombat 2," and "Resident Evil." "DOA" felt more like a "Super Mario Bros." or "Street Fighter." It was simply the best they could do with the material at hand. Then the credits rolled (but not before we were teased that every leading lady was going to get some ass) and I noticed the credit of Producer. The second in command to only Uwe Boll, Mr. Paul WS Anderson himself. The man who gave us "Resident Evil," "Mortal Kombat" and the rim job caught on film, "Alien vs Predator." I am embarassed. I felt tricked and betrayed. They waited to reveal Anderson's name until they knew everyone was having a good time. Then they dropped the load all over your face, and I felt stupid. Fuck, I can't believe I dug this film, even on a shitty good movie level.
Shane Black is the screenwriter who brought us "Lethal Weapon," "Last Action Hero" and "Monster Squad." The man knows how to make a great movie with even better dialogue. The best of the bunch has to be his latest film, "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang," which stars Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. Kilmer has already done movies in the past which has proven he is one funny motherfucker ("Top Secret," "Real Genius," and the funniest film ever made, "Batman Forever"). The chemistry between the two actors in this film is outstanding, which comes as no surprise since the writing is so damned good. Nobody ever remembers this film because it was in and out of theaters. Another victim of critical acclaim, but poor box office performance.
"Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" makes the list because of the banter between Harrison Ford and Sean Connery. Everybody loved this film for that reason. So much so that at this point, everyone expects Connery back in the forthcoming "Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods." I always was partial to the Indy/Short Round bond in "Temple of Doom," but the scene in which we find out Indy was named after the dog kills me every time.
Just kidding.
Everyone always seems partial to "48 Hours" since it was one of Eddie Murphy's first movies as star, but for me it never got any better than "Beverly Hills Cop." Eddie Murphy was at the top of his game here and pretty much stole the entire movie. Every line he has in this movie is hilarious and it was Murphy who made Axel Foley into an 80s icon. By now it is a tired scenario with the fish out of water cop who meets the straight laced by the book cops, but when this was released it was still fresh and funny. At least in this one they kept the white vs black stereotypes out of it. Nothing kills a movie faster than that. Murphy kept the laughs going in "Beverly Hills Cop II," but opted to phone it in for the shitfest "Beverly Hills Cop III." 
Most people consider this the grandaddy of them all. The "Lethal Weapon" movies, as well as the "Mad Max" trilogy, are what launched the career of Mel Gibson (which is a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it). We get the crazy vietnam vet who has a death wish partnered with the family man just days from retirement. Then somehow they find a common ground and are able to work together. I will admit that Riggs and Murtaugh had the best chemistry out of any duo on screen for this type of film. These movies, like the "Die Hard" films, set the tone for action films and were copied for years (even today) because of their success.
Speaking of "Die Hard," this is what tops the list for me. "Die Hard with a Vengeance" is the king of all buddy films for me. Nothing is better than Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson running around New York City looking for explosives. Now admittedly, this film did go the route of making the racial jokes, but they worked here as opposed to other films. There were no stereotypes about music or shit like that. It was about two guys who genuinely didn't get along for most of the film, and made some pretty damn good banter back and forth for close to two hours.
"The Running Man"
"Rambo: First Blood II"
"Die Hard"
"Judge Dredd"
I like the way this new America is shaping up. Very republican, but we all know that’s just another way of saying very correct. Oh snap.
The first picture of the origin suit is up for the feature film "Iron Man," starring Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark. The film is directed by Jon Favreau.
Romantic comedies are the asshole of Hollywood nowadays. I had the displeasure of watching “Must Love Dogs” last night. The girlfriend had just watched two out of three “Die Hard” movies and “Grindhouse,” so I figured it would be nice to go through her collection and watch something different. Something different would have been nice, but the assholes who make movies like “Must Love Dogs” do not understand the meaning of the word “different.” Each and every romantic comedy is the same pile of shit (in this case, dog shit) and if you have seen on then you have seen them all. Why, oh why, did John Cusack subject himself to “Must Love Dogs?” I know the man isn’t exactly billboard material nowadays, but I still like the guy and his movies. “Grosse Pointe Blank” and “High Fidelity” are really cool and funny romantic comedies. They had style and tried to do their own thing. “Must Love Dogs” was bad when I saw it back when it was called “Maid In Manhattan,” which was called “The Wedding Planner” before it. If you have seen one, then you have seen them all.
What happened to the good romantic comedies like “Pretty Woman” or my favorite, “You’ve Got Mail?” They have been replaced by every movie starring J-Lo. Sad, truly sad. “Two Weeks Notice” or “Failure to Launch” are scarier than any other horror film I have seen lately. Jokes fall flat, creepy things happen (like Diane Lane meeting her father for a blind date) and characters who nobody gives a fuck about get together in the end. The only three couples that should be allowed to make romantic comedies from here on out are Sandler/Barrymore, Gere/Roberts and Hanks/Ryan. Anyone else is just kidding themselves. I am tired of the same crap being remade over and over again. Romantic comedies are now a bigger gamble than horror movies. That, my friends, is the scariest thing of all.
Then we move along into Quentin Tarantino’s “Death Proof.” This is a night and day difference from the ultra violent/gory/rollercoaster ride that was “Plant Terror.” This is classic Tarantino at his best. We spend the first part of the film with four friends and a whole hell of a lot of dialogue. The film takes its time introducing its victims. Then we meet Stuntman Mike, played by Kurt Russell. This role pretty much solidified Russell as one of the biggest bad asses in Hollywood. He showed his acting chops here. Ranging from charming one moment, to certified crazy motherfucker the next. So it goes that Mike has a car that is death proof, but only from the driver seat. He kills women using his car in a variety of ways. After the first group of women are dispatched, we move to the next, who consist of a film group in town. Zoë Bell (playing herself) and three friends (including Rosario Dawson) are in need of some fun and have the desire to drive a 1970 Mustang with a 440 engine. Basically an homage to “Vanishing Point” for anyone who doesn’t get it. So they take one out for a test drive and what ensues is probably one of the better car chases in recent years. We start with Mike terrorizing the women, but soon the tables turn and it’s Mike who is in for the ride of his life.
“Grindhouse” can only be described as an experience. It has to be seen to be believed. It was every bit as good as you’ve hoped it would be, and then some. At this point in my life, I’m willing to go out on a limb and say anything that Tarantino or Rodriguez does is going to be “cool.” No other way to describe it. The music they use, the words they write and the stories they tell are just fucking “cool.” These two are at the top of the ladder as far as filmmakers in Hollywood go.
Both men have a knack, as I mentioned, for casting out of the ordinary actors. Many familiar faces are shown in each film. Jeff Fahey, Michael Biehn, Rose McGowan and Josh Brolin are only a few that pop up, but there are so many more. My favorite is Michael Parks, who once again plays Earl McGraw (just as he has in “From Dusk Till Dawn” and “Kill Bill”). When either of these two men makes a film, especially together, it seems like actors and actresses alike are fighting for a role. Many of the “Sin City” actors appear in this one, as do people from each director's outings. It just always seems that everyone is having a good time when making a film for one of these two men.
Rodriguez has some true musical talent. He does the score on just about every one of his films, and it is always outstanding. It reminded me a lot of the work he did on “Sin City.” I am hoping he continues to score all of his films because it always seems to stand out.
There is a place for Steve Guttenberg in every film ever made. He was the King of 80s Cinema. He stands with the Hollywood Heavyweights and is not featured on my banner for the sole reason that you’d all piss yourselves with every new blog viewing. He deserves a “Weekend at Bernie’s,” to “Escape from New York,” and to “Live Free or Die Hard.” It was Guttenberg who deserved AIDS, not that bastard Tom Hanks. We can all agree that it should have been “Freddy Vs Jason Vs Steve Guttenberg.” Screw Harry, because we all know Sally was really thinking about Steve Guttenberg. Remember “Lord of the Rings?” Those films were merely an interpretation of how he conquered Hollywood. Yes, he IS that damn good.
Steve Guttenberg was born sometime between 1860 and 1950 (historians are still determining the exact date and time of his birth, and whether or not one of his aliases was “Billy the Kid”). He spent most of his early childhood grinding grain by working on The Wheel of Pain (yes from “Conan the Barbarian. Where do you think they got it?) and was later sold into the world of cage fighting. It was here that Steve Guttenberg met Ted Danson and Tom Selleck (the Mormon cult will identify these three men as the ones responsible for giving gifts to baby Jesus). So after earning their freedom, these three men made their way to the coast. Upon arrival, they were offered lucrative contracts as Hollywood Heavyweights. Selleck and Danson ruled television with an iron fist (and hairy chest and a huge forehead). It was Guttenberg who made not one, not two, but sixteen movies during the 80s alone. He was a King of Kings. He brought us Carey Mahoney in four “Police Academy” movies. Later Shane Black would credit Guttenberg’s performance in this role as his inspiration for the creation of Martin Riggs of “Lethal Weapon” fame. Then came an almost third coming of Christ (or Joseph Smith for all my cult readers out there) when Guttenberg, Danson and Selleck reunited to create solid gold with “Three Men and a Baby.” It was like watching the Earth made by God all over again.
Then, just as quickly as he appeared, Steve Guttenberg disappeared into the night. Many say that he lives in the mountains of China, others say he roams the hardware stores of Palisades, unable to afford tar. I personally think that after completion on “Making Change,” and having no further concern, he sought adventure in the west. Many wars and feuds did Guttenberg fight. Honor and fear have been heaped upon his name and, in time, he has become a legend by his own hand…and this story shall also be told.