Months of reading, studying and killing my brain has all come to an end. I finally know the ending to “Saw IV,” and after two viewings, I actually understand it. Sort of.
We open with the autopsy scene. We find Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) ripped open from head to toe, upon which a tape is discovered inside his stomach. Forensic Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) is called to the scene. Upon playing the tape, we find that Jigsaw is challenging Hoffman “to succeed where others have failed.” We’re also told that even though he is dead, Jigsaw’s games will continue. We then are dropped into the first trap, which at first has little to do with anything, or so it seems. At this point Hoffman and Rigg (Lyriq Bent), the only two untouched officers of these films, find Kerry’s rotting body. It is here that they are met by two FBI Agents, Strahm (Scott Patterson) and Perez (Athena Karkanis), who were in direct contact with Kerry until her disappearance. Strahm advises Hoffman that they are here to aid in the investigation, but not to find Jigsaw or Amanda Young, but to find the accomplice that has been helping them. So now we split off and a few different stories are being told all at once. We have Strahm and Perez interrogating Jill Tuck (Betsy Russell), Jigsaw’s ex wife. During this part of the movie, we see several flashbacks in which John, amongst other characters, are still alive. Then we cut to the main portion of the movie in which Rigg is involved in the latest game, which as long as he follows the rules, will see the release of both Hoffman and Eric Matthews (a returning Donnie Wahlberg).
There are a few strong performances in this entry. Lyriq Bent and Costas Mandylor are given the most screen time that they have had thus far in the franchise and they both make good use of it. B-movie Queen Betsy Russell also does quite well here as the victim, but you also can see a few things in her performance that always make you wonder if she is, or isn’t, in on the game. Tobin Bell turns in his best performance as Jigsaw yet. We mainly see him in flashbacks, and due to the circumstances he is involved in, we actually feel sympathy for him during a few spots. My favorite performance this time around is from newcomer Scott Patterson, who gay people might remember from his stint on “The Gilmore Girls.” Sure he plays the clichéd asshole FBI Agent, but he does it so well with so much energy and emotion that I hope to see him in “Saw V.”
The traps were my favorite in the series thus far. Due to Rigg’s obsession with saving everyone, he is placed into a situation where he must attempt to save people who do not deserve the lives they were given. Brenda, who sells young girls into prostitution, a husband who beats his wife and a wife who lets it happen and a man who rapes and abuses women. All of these people are given the same chance at life, but Rigg is almost being recruited by Jigsaw as he is forced to “feel what he feels,” or to “save as he saves.”
The twist ending was built up in my mind to be the best in the series thus far when in fact; nothing will ever top the first film. With each sequel, the creativity and suspense is still there, but they will never recreate the magnitude of the ending in the very first film. The ending to “Saw IV” does come as a shock, albeit a confusing one. I would hardly call it a twist as, just like the first entry, this film gives you every clue along the way to figure it out on your own. The only downside to the ending is that the motivations behind it probably won’t even be explained until “Saw V,” which due to the screenwriters strike in Hollywood may not even be seen until 2009.
There were also a few questions that were never answered, even when they were promised by the filmmakers. What was said in the letter to Amanda at the end of “Saw III?” We find out who gave it to her, but never what it said. A trap involving a glass box is seen in the film, and there are pictures online of a man trapped inside, but we never find out what it is for. The Buddha dolls that surround Jigsaw in “Saw III” were never brought up, nor was the subject of reincarnation. Finally, in a recent interview with one of the producers, it was stated that when Amanda cut the key from the man’s stomach in the first film, there was a relationship between the two that we were never aware of. All of these questions, albeit small ones, were never answered when they were advertised by the filmmakers.
The “Saw” franchise is still going strong, which is a tremendous accomplishment when you actually sit down and think about most sequels in a horror franchise. With each “Saw” film we are given an expansion of the story, more details on certain characters and a twist that fits within the rules the filmmakers have already established. If the filmmakers can keep it up, “Saw” may be the only horror franchise worth paying attention to year after year.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
The Final Days Before "Saw IV"
So we are literally five days away from, what has become the most anticipated movie in years. Yes, I loved “Rocky Balboa.” I love the anticipation leading up to that film, but Stallone doesn’t have shit on Jigsaw. Since July of this year I have been following the production of “Saw IV.” Once it wrapped and the marketing began, I was there. I have seen every photo, every interview and every clip released through the internet. What is the end result of all these man hours? Nothing. I am still no closer to the plot, or the twist, of this film. I know as much as all of you who have not read a damn thing. I have literally done at least two hours a day of research, at least five days a week for the past three months. This is the genius that is “Saw IV.” So in my final attempt at what I know, here is the last article prior to the review of “Saw IV.”
We know that Jigsaw and Amanda are dead. We know for certain that they won’t return as ghosts, or return from the dead. So far as I can tell, Jigsaw appears mainly in flashbacks and on audio. Amanda may be shown in flashbacks, but it was reported from the set that Shawnee Smith never filmed any new footage for the character. So then where do we begin? In the clip entitled “Autopsy,” we see that Jigsaw’s body has been found and recovered by the authorities (perhaps also answering the question of what happened to Jeff and his daughter?). During a routine autopsy, a tape covered in wax (that answers why Jigsaw pours wax on a tape at the end of “Saw III) is found in Jigsaw’s stomach. Agent Hoffman (from the opening of “Saw III”) is called to the scene to listen to the tape. At this point Jigsaw tells Hoffman that even though he is dead, his work will continue. So now we get the resounding “What the fuck?” moment in which our tiny little brains cannot comprehend how this is possible. A new apprentice? A twin brother? Is this a prequel? Well, it is not a prequel or a sequel in the same way that “Saw II” and “Saw III” weren’t either. The film itself would be a sequel with many flashbacks incorporated.
The main focus of this film appears to be four different stories being told all at once. The first is the story of John and Jill when they were married. I expect this story to unfold and reveal more about why John decided to do what he does best. In the clip “Leaving the Clinic,” we see a pregnant Jill leaving a building. A knock on the outside door surprises her and a man by the name of Cecil (the same one who later appears in the knife trap) bursts in with a knife. He takes the keys from her and enters the building. She looks in his direction, trying to see what he is attempting to do when he bursts through the door yet again, only this time pinning her between the door and the wall, thus killing the baby. He escapes the building just as John shows up to get a real good look at him. The second story is Rigg, who is the S.W.A.T. Commander from the last two movies. He is placed into a series of tests in order to save an old friend, which I believe to be Detective Matthews, once again played by Donnie Wahlberg. Only with the game played by Rigg, it looks like he is to save numerous test subjects (who is putting them into these devices, mind you), who may or may not deserve to be saved. In a hidden clip on the official website, Rigg walks into a room where a woman is strapped into a chair, and her hair in bound to a series of gears which when turned will scalp her. As the trap begins, a tape of Jigsaw tells Rigg that as an officer of the law, his first instinct is to help this woman. But if Rigg knew what Jigsaw knows, he wouldn’t be so quick to save her. Jigsaw goes on to tell him that she is undeserving of the life she has. The double entendre “See what I see” is on the wall next to her in red, which is pictured below.
The next story is Hoffman and his discovery of what exactly is on the tape. He also seems to uncover the body of Kerry from “Saw III.” In fact, judging from the picture below, he is following the exact same path that Jeff did in the third film. The final story being told is of two FBI Profilers who find clues that lead back to Jigsaw’s now ex-wife, Jill. Somewhere in there, somehow, all of these stories fit together perfectly and delivers a nine minute twist that unfolds at the end of the film. Both the cast and crew have called it the biggest surprise in the franchise, and one that will allow the viewer to see the series in a whole new light, not to mention give a direction for both “Saw V” and “Saw VI.” Director Darren Lynn Bousman has already stated that nobody will guess this as it is the ultimate twist, and one that has gone unnoticed by the fans.
Now what about the traps this time around? Aside from the knife trap and the scalping trap, we have an entire host of others. From the trailer, we see a male and a female bound together. It appears as though steel rods are going through each of them. Unless I am way off, it looks like one must pull the rod through their own body to remove it from the other. The woman can also be heard hysterically crying and repeating the phrase “I’m sorry.” For what exactly? The pattern among the known victims so far sees that they are all guilty of something terrible. Cecil killed Jill’s baby and Scalp Lady looks to recruit young girls into a life of prostitution. So what do all the other victims have in common? Of course the now famous green room with what looks like Detective Matthews and another unnamed man. Matthews has a cast on his foot and a chain around his neck. The block of ice under him continues to melt, and if he isn't saved in time he will hang himself. Why is Matthews still alive? What is his purpose? Who is the other man in the chair next to him?
Rarely do you ever see a horror sequel that lives up to the franchise and fans expectations. “Saw” is a rare exception that shows that a film franchise can be made by people who care, and not just people who want to make a quick buck. If “Saw IV” turns out to do what they say, then we’ll all be picking our jaws up off the floor this coming Friday.
We know that Jigsaw and Amanda are dead. We know for certain that they won’t return as ghosts, or return from the dead. So far as I can tell, Jigsaw appears mainly in flashbacks and on audio. Amanda may be shown in flashbacks, but it was reported from the set that Shawnee Smith never filmed any new footage for the character. So then where do we begin? In the clip entitled “Autopsy,” we see that Jigsaw’s body has been found and recovered by the authorities (perhaps also answering the question of what happened to Jeff and his daughter?). During a routine autopsy, a tape covered in wax (that answers why Jigsaw pours wax on a tape at the end of “Saw III) is found in Jigsaw’s stomach. Agent Hoffman (from the opening of “Saw III”) is called to the scene to listen to the tape. At this point Jigsaw tells Hoffman that even though he is dead, his work will continue. So now we get the resounding “What the fuck?” moment in which our tiny little brains cannot comprehend how this is possible. A new apprentice? A twin brother? Is this a prequel? Well, it is not a prequel or a sequel in the same way that “Saw II” and “Saw III” weren’t either. The film itself would be a sequel with many flashbacks incorporated.The main focus of this film appears to be four different stories being told all at once. The first is the story of John and Jill when they were married. I expect this story to unfold and reveal more about why John decided to do what he does best. In the clip “Leaving the Clinic,” we see a pregnant Jill leaving a building. A knock on the outside door surprises her and a man by the name of Cecil (the same one who later appears in the knife trap) bursts in with a knife. He takes the keys from her and enters the building. She looks in his direction, trying to see what he is attempting to do when he bursts through the door yet again, only this time pinning her between the door and the wall, thus killing the baby. He escapes the building just as John shows up to get a real good look at him. The second story is Rigg, who is the S.W.A.T. Commander from the last two movies. He is placed into a series of tests in order to save an old friend, which I believe to be Detective Matthews, once again played by Donnie Wahlberg. Only with the game played by Rigg, it looks like he is to save numerous test subjects (who is putting them into these devices, mind you), who may or may not deserve to be saved. In a hidden clip on the official website, Rigg walks into a room where a woman is strapped into a chair, and her hair in bound to a series of gears which when turned will scalp her. As the trap begins, a tape of Jigsaw tells Rigg that as an officer of the law, his first instinct is to help this woman. But if Rigg knew what Jigsaw knows, he wouldn’t be so quick to save her. Jigsaw goes on to tell him that she is undeserving of the life she has. The double entendre “See what I see” is on the wall next to her in red, which is pictured below.
The next story is Hoffman and his discovery of what exactly is on the tape. He also seems to uncover the body of Kerry from “Saw III.” In fact, judging from the picture below, he is following the exact same path that Jeff did in the third film. The final story being told is of two FBI Profilers who find clues that lead back to Jigsaw’s now ex-wife, Jill. Somewhere in there, somehow, all of these stories fit together perfectly and delivers a nine minute twist that unfolds at the end of the film. Both the cast and crew have called it the biggest surprise in the franchise, and one that will allow the viewer to see the series in a whole new light, not to mention give a direction for both “Saw V” and “Saw VI.” Director Darren Lynn Bousman has already stated that nobody will guess this as it is the ultimate twist, and one that has gone unnoticed by the fans.Now what about the traps this time around? Aside from the knife trap and the scalping trap, we have an entire host of others. From the trailer, we see a male and a female bound together. It appears as though steel rods are going through each of them. Unless I am way off, it looks like one must pull the rod through their own body to remove it from the other. The woman can also be heard hysterically crying and repeating the phrase “I’m sorry.” For what exactly? The pattern among the known victims so far sees that they are all guilty of something terrible. Cecil killed Jill’s baby and Scalp Lady looks to recruit young girls into a life of prostitution. So what do all the other victims have in common? Of course the now famous green room with what looks like Detective Matthews and another unnamed man. Matthews has a cast on his foot and a chain around his neck. The block of ice under him continues to melt, and if he isn't saved in time he will hang himself. Why is Matthews still alive? What is his purpose? Who is the other man in the chair next to him?
Rarely do you ever see a horror sequel that lives up to the franchise and fans expectations. “Saw” is a rare exception that shows that a film franchise can be made by people who care, and not just people who want to make a quick buck. If “Saw IV” turns out to do what they say, then we’ll all be picking our jaws up off the floor this coming Friday.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Saw IV Updates...
Well the Saw IV bandwagon is moving right along, kids. We finally got a teaser trailer, which only created more questions instead of answering the old ones (who the hell is the person dressed as Jigsaw at the end of the trailer?). Then we get the clip of the trap involving two men chained together at the neck. Well, thanks to a brand new clip; we get a lot more insight as to what is in store for us come October 26th, 2007.
The recent clip sheds some light on how exactly Jigsaw appears at the beginning of the film. For those who have yet to see the clip, I will describe it. We open with Jigsaw’s body being wheeled into a Medical lab. He is laid out on a table where his brain is removed (more than likely to check for the tumor). Then his chest is cracked open and organs are removed. The surgeon then removes the stomach and cuts it open to reveal a tape. The surgeon then calls Detective Hoffman (who appeared at the beginning of Saw III) who plays the tape. We hear Jigsaw greeting Hoffman, followed by another big “fuck you” speech. “Are you there, Detective? I promise that my work will continue. You think it is over, but you are wrong. The games have just begun.” Then we see Hoffman discovering the body of Kerri (the rib cage trap from Saw III) and then a whole host of new traps (the razors around the head, the two men chained together, and a couple bound together). In true Saw fashion there are a lot of clips that are edited together with lightning quick speed, so it is easy to miss something important. Well, that editor didn’t count on this asshole having all the time in the world to obsess over this movie. I had a contact go through and pause the clips to see if anything was revealed that the average nerd would overlook. Jackpot, bitches. Remember the pic from below? Well I made some changes to accommodate my find. Look again.
Now who, besides Dr. Gordon, do we know to have anything wrong with his ankle? And yes, I realize that the picture is dark and that you probably can’t see jack shit as far as an ankle brace goes, but thanks to the high tech nerds at IMDB I have been able to confirm it. Now look below to find one frame from the autopsy trailer. 
Looks like Detective Mathews (Donnie Wahlberg) is back for more. If you can remember the line from Saw III towards the end of the film after the Amanda/Mathews flashback, Jigsaw tells Amanda “you killed Detective Mathews.” She agrees, to which he replies, “No, that’s what you thought, but I know better. I cleaned up your mistakes.” Seeing as how this looks like Wahlberg, and the brace is on the same foot that he broke in Saw III, I’d say I am right on the money here. It has also been confirmed by the actor himself that he appears in the film.
So what does all of this mean (other than the fact that I have no life)? Well, in the official synopsis it stated that Rigg was playing Jigsaw's game to help an old friend (Rigg called Mathews "old buddy" in Saw II). It also means nothing other than Mathews being back. I'm still no closer to any answers as all this has done has created more questions. Fuck me.
The recent clip sheds some light on how exactly Jigsaw appears at the beginning of the film. For those who have yet to see the clip, I will describe it. We open with Jigsaw’s body being wheeled into a Medical lab. He is laid out on a table where his brain is removed (more than likely to check for the tumor). Then his chest is cracked open and organs are removed. The surgeon then removes the stomach and cuts it open to reveal a tape. The surgeon then calls Detective Hoffman (who appeared at the beginning of Saw III) who plays the tape. We hear Jigsaw greeting Hoffman, followed by another big “fuck you” speech. “Are you there, Detective? I promise that my work will continue. You think it is over, but you are wrong. The games have just begun.” Then we see Hoffman discovering the body of Kerri (the rib cage trap from Saw III) and then a whole host of new traps (the razors around the head, the two men chained together, and a couple bound together). In true Saw fashion there are a lot of clips that are edited together with lightning quick speed, so it is easy to miss something important. Well, that editor didn’t count on this asshole having all the time in the world to obsess over this movie. I had a contact go through and pause the clips to see if anything was revealed that the average nerd would overlook. Jackpot, bitches. Remember the pic from below? Well I made some changes to accommodate my find. Look again.
Now who, besides Dr. Gordon, do we know to have anything wrong with his ankle? And yes, I realize that the picture is dark and that you probably can’t see jack shit as far as an ankle brace goes, but thanks to the high tech nerds at IMDB I have been able to confirm it. Now look below to find one frame from the autopsy trailer. Looks like Detective Mathews (Donnie Wahlberg) is back for more. If you can remember the line from Saw III towards the end of the film after the Amanda/Mathews flashback, Jigsaw tells Amanda “you killed Detective Mathews.” She agrees, to which he replies, “No, that’s what you thought, but I know better. I cleaned up your mistakes.” Seeing as how this looks like Wahlberg, and the brace is on the same foot that he broke in Saw III, I’d say I am right on the money here. It has also been confirmed by the actor himself that he appears in the film.So what does all of this mean (other than the fact that I have no life)? Well, in the official synopsis it stated that Rigg was playing Jigsaw's game to help an old friend (Rigg called Mathews "old buddy" in Saw II). It also means nothing other than Mathews being back. I'm still no closer to any answers as all this has done has created more questions. Fuck me.
Monday, September 10, 2007
MOVIE REVIEWS: 3:10 To Yuma & Shoot 'Em Up
Two new movies opened over the weekend that I would dare say offered the perfect close to all the summer fun (or lack there of. Fuck you Rush Hour 3). The remake of 3:10 To Yuma and the action/comedy Shoot ‘Em Up are some of the best movies that 2007 has to offer. Both films will be appearing in my Top Ten list of 2007, and both for very good reasons.
3:10 To Yuma is the story of Dan Evans (another impressive role for Christian Bale), a man who is both spiritually and physically broken (his foot was blown off in the Civil War). He is a simple rancher who is being forced off of his land to make way for the rail road. After his barn burns down, he and his son’s venture out to round up all of his cattle. It is at this time that Evans happens upon a stage coach robbery perpetrated by Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) and his gang, which also includes Charlie Prince (the always good Ben Foster). Wade lets Evans and his sons go free despite witnessing the slaughter of everyone aboard the stagecoach. So Wade and his gang make their way to town, where Wade is captured. A volunteer group is formed, including Evans, to escort Wade to the 3:10 to Yuma Prison train, which leaves in two days time. Evans volunteers because, as he puts it, “I’m tired of the way my sons look at me and I am tired of the way that you don’t.” It is on this trek that Evans and Wade form an almost unspoken understanding of one another. Wade comes to almost admire what drives Evans to do what he does. He wants nothing more than respect and admiration from his family, and the money he was offered to escort Wade.
The performances in this western are what the movie. Russell Crowe seems to walk through the movie effortlessly, and regardless of being a cold blooded killer, you come to like the man immensely. Christian Bale takes on another punishing physical role in this movie, and adds another film to his resume that will become a classic later on down the line. Not to mention after portraying Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bale seems to have such a presence on screen. Regardless of who shares the scene with him, it is Bale that commands our attention. It is what makes him one of the best actors working today.
Everyone keeps calling 3:10 To Yuma the best western since Unforgiven. I dare say that this movie is the best western since The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Then we come to a different monster all together. Shoot ‘Em Up is an amalgam of every awesome action sequence you have ever seen in your life. It is as if director/writer Michael Davis turned the final 30 minutes of Hard Boiled into a full fledged action movie with guns, carrots, and a newborn baby.
The plot? Does it really matter? It is Clive Owen as “Mr. Smith” shooting his way through dozens of henchmen. He makes John McClane look like Eugene Levy from The Man. “Mr. Smith” lives in a world where every surface is slick enough to slide on, the good guys never miss and one liners are used like a bodily function. The fun of the movie lies in its absurdity. There are so many times where you sit there watching the film going, “Yeah right,” but it is done with a smile every single time. This is how every action movie needs to be. Unlimited ammo, a rock soundtrack (including Motley Crue, Motorhead and AC/DC) and a wise-cracking hero that would make Ash (Army of Darkness) proud.
This could potentially be the next big action franchise, and after this first entry, it could also be the next big sleeper hit of the year. Definitely one of the most fun movies to watch this year.
3:10 To Yuma is the story of Dan Evans (another impressive role for Christian Bale), a man who is both spiritually and physically broken (his foot was blown off in the Civil War). He is a simple rancher who is being forced off of his land to make way for the rail road. After his barn burns down, he and his son’s venture out to round up all of his cattle. It is at this time that Evans happens upon a stage coach robbery perpetrated by Ben Wade (Russell Crowe) and his gang, which also includes Charlie Prince (the always good Ben Foster). Wade lets Evans and his sons go free despite witnessing the slaughter of everyone aboard the stagecoach. So Wade and his gang make their way to town, where Wade is captured. A volunteer group is formed, including Evans, to escort Wade to the 3:10 to Yuma Prison train, which leaves in two days time. Evans volunteers because, as he puts it, “I’m tired of the way my sons look at me and I am tired of the way that you don’t.” It is on this trek that Evans and Wade form an almost unspoken understanding of one another. Wade comes to almost admire what drives Evans to do what he does. He wants nothing more than respect and admiration from his family, and the money he was offered to escort Wade.The performances in this western are what the movie. Russell Crowe seems to walk through the movie effortlessly, and regardless of being a cold blooded killer, you come to like the man immensely. Christian Bale takes on another punishing physical role in this movie, and adds another film to his resume that will become a classic later on down the line. Not to mention after portraying Bruce Wayne/Batman, Bale seems to have such a presence on screen. Regardless of who shares the scene with him, it is Bale that commands our attention. It is what makes him one of the best actors working today.
Everyone keeps calling 3:10 To Yuma the best western since Unforgiven. I dare say that this movie is the best western since The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.
Then we come to a different monster all together. Shoot ‘Em Up is an amalgam of every awesome action sequence you have ever seen in your life. It is as if director/writer Michael Davis turned the final 30 minutes of Hard Boiled into a full fledged action movie with guns, carrots, and a newborn baby.The plot? Does it really matter? It is Clive Owen as “Mr. Smith” shooting his way through dozens of henchmen. He makes John McClane look like Eugene Levy from The Man. “Mr. Smith” lives in a world where every surface is slick enough to slide on, the good guys never miss and one liners are used like a bodily function. The fun of the movie lies in its absurdity. There are so many times where you sit there watching the film going, “Yeah right,” but it is done with a smile every single time. This is how every action movie needs to be. Unlimited ammo, a rock soundtrack (including Motley Crue, Motorhead and AC/DC) and a wise-cracking hero that would make Ash (Army of Darkness) proud.
This could potentially be the next big action franchise, and after this first entry, it could also be the next big sleeper hit of the year. Definitely one of the most fun movies to watch this year.
Monday, August 20, 2007
The Clown Prince of Cinema
So 2008 is shaping up to be the greatest year for movies that I have been witness to. We're going to be faced with "Iron Man," "The Incredible Hulk," "John Rambo," "Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods" and "Saw V." We cannot discuss "Saw V" however, as my brain simply cannot handle dealing with the plot for two different "Saw" sequels, neither of which has been released as of yet. So next summer is the return of the big movie summer, something I have not seen in years. Probably one of the biggest films of 2008 is going to be "The Dark Knight."
Let me nerd out, if I may. When I saw "Batman Begins" all those years ago, it was a momentous event. It was the end of the shit streak that plagued the Warner Bros. franchise. Let me just tell you that if you like Tim Burton's "Batman" over Christopher Nolan's "Batman Begins," then this article isn't for you. The film wasn't for you in the same way that a brain isn't for you. So close this page, and go stick your head into the oven because the world of film hates you.
The appeal of the new film does not necessarily come from Batman, or Bruce Wayne, this time around. Yes, Christian Bale is back in a role he was born to play. In fact, everyone is back (except for Katie Holmes, who has been replaced with a better actress in Maggie Gyllenhaul). So we also have Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two Face, but this still isn't what the success of "The Dark Knight" is riding on. It all comes down to whether or not Heath Ledger can pull off The Joker.
Jack Nicholson never did it for me. In Tim Burton's "Batman," Nicholson essentially played himself in make-up. As a kid, we all loved this movie because this was the closest we ever got to a cool Batman. Then, as you got older (and nerdier), you came to realize that Tim Burton made his own vision, and basically raped the source material. I mean come on, The Joker killed Bruce Wayne's parents? Lame (and nerdy that I know the truth). Not to mention Nicholson played it too campy. It was a comedy routine. There was no terror in the character, and that was Burton's mistake. The Joker is my favorite character to ever come out of a comic book, so I want to see him done right (that's what she said). I was a little worried when Heath Ledger was announced to play the Clown Prince of Crime. Out of everyone I thought of, this was the last guy on my list. Then again, Christopher Nolan made "The Prestige," and "Memento." The man knows how to find great actors when he needs them. Then the first picture was released.
This peaked my interest a little bit. The picture is insane. The evil grin of The Joker comes from a scar that runs from ear to ear. Not to mention Ledger was steering clear of what Jack Nicholson had done with the role. From every report I have read so far, this is suppose to be an insane, psychotic and unstable Joker. The way he was meant to be portrayed all along. Then came the tease trailer (and what a tease it is) which had only a moment of what Ledger sounds like.
Let me nerd out, if I may. When I saw "Batman Begins" all those years ago, it was a momentous event. It was the end of the shit streak that plagued the Warner Bros. franchise. Let me just tell you that if you like Tim Burton's "Batman" over Christopher Nolan's "Batman Begins," then this article isn't for you. The film wasn't for you in the same way that a brain isn't for you. So close this page, and go stick your head into the oven because the world of film hates you.
The appeal of the new film does not necessarily come from Batman, or Bruce Wayne, this time around. Yes, Christian Bale is back in a role he was born to play. In fact, everyone is back (except for Katie Holmes, who has been replaced with a better actress in Maggie Gyllenhaul). So we also have Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two Face, but this still isn't what the success of "The Dark Knight" is riding on. It all comes down to whether or not Heath Ledger can pull off The Joker.
Jack Nicholson never did it for me. In Tim Burton's "Batman," Nicholson essentially played himself in make-up. As a kid, we all loved this movie because this was the closest we ever got to a cool Batman. Then, as you got older (and nerdier), you came to realize that Tim Burton made his own vision, and basically raped the source material. I mean come on, The Joker killed Bruce Wayne's parents? Lame (and nerdy that I know the truth). Not to mention Nicholson played it too campy. It was a comedy routine. There was no terror in the character, and that was Burton's mistake. The Joker is my favorite character to ever come out of a comic book, so I want to see him done right (that's what she said). I was a little worried when Heath Ledger was announced to play the Clown Prince of Crime. Out of everyone I thought of, this was the last guy on my list. Then again, Christopher Nolan made "The Prestige," and "Memento." The man knows how to find great actors when he needs them. Then the first picture was released.
This peaked my interest a little bit. The picture is insane. The evil grin of The Joker comes from a scar that runs from ear to ear. Not to mention Ledger was steering clear of what Jack Nicholson had done with the role. From every report I have read so far, this is suppose to be an insane, psychotic and unstable Joker. The way he was meant to be portrayed all along. Then came the tease trailer (and what a tease it is) which had only a moment of what Ledger sounds like.The man has an interesting as hell take on the character. A recent article over at IGN had this to say about recent footage screened for an audience in Chicago. "One shot reversed my worries into unadulterated enthusiasm. The shot is focused directly on The Joker as he sits in a prison (or perhaps Arkham Asylum?) cell. The room is bathed in a blue light, but more important is what Heath Ledger is doing. I suppose it sounds odd since I already said he's sitting, but there is an element of instability and rage in that shot that I instantly picked up in that brief moment. The expression on Ledger's face is perfect. This isn't a fun-loving, zany character. You're not going to giggle and see him playing with toys. This is a disturbed man who is so scarred, physically and psychologically, that he has crafted a clown persona to cause chaos in the world - to steal, hurt and kill innocent people." This says it all, and now my anticipation for the films of 2008 triple.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
It's A Trap
Okay so my life pretty much consists of trying to solve "Saw IV" right now. I sit at work, and I literally read the IMDB boards all day trying to get an answer. Lucky for me everyone at the site is retarded. So director Darren Bousman has gone on record to say that each photo has a clue as to the film. The tagline for the film is "It's a trap." I took a look at all the photos that have been released and found a common thread throughout them all. Let us take a closer look.
Each photo contains a cross of some kind. Mix that with the tagline, and I think we have a double cross on our hands here. Who exactly is getting double crossed? Why is Jigsaw alive? Why do I have this much time on my hands? Yes I am single, why do you ask?
Each photo contains a cross of some kind. Mix that with the tagline, and I think we have a double cross on our hands here. Who exactly is getting double crossed? Why is Jigsaw alive? Why do I have this much time on my hands? Yes I am single, why do you ask?
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
I Just Don't Get It
Hollywood is a confusing little bitch sometimes. A lot of people just go to the movies and end it there. Not me. When it comes to myself, I love to know all about the politics. I want to know how deals are made, why choices are made, and what exactly goes into running the "biz." Sometimes things happen, however, that I just cannot wrap my fantastical brain around. It is the same feeling I get at work when the men's bathroom smells like buttered popcorn. Or why most of the married women at work feel the need to tell me that if they weren't married they'd date me. It is creepy, weird and confusing, much like the following list of shit that I just do not get. 
Next we come to Len Wiseman. The man who is married to Kate Beckinsale (reason enough to like him) and director of both "Underworld" movies and "Live Free or Die Hard." Every site I go to seems to bash this man. Fans hate him for some reason, and it is all because of his "Underworld" movies. When he was announced for "Live Free or Die Hard" people went nuts. You would have thought that it was the downfall of the film industry. He was just announced today as the director of the remake for "Escape From New York." Now you know my feelings on remaking the movie that made Kurt Russell's career. It makes about as much sense as finding a perfectly normal woman, marrying her, then cheating with Aristeo (burn). My feelings for this aside, I trust the man to do his job. With "Live Free or Die Hard" he showed us all that he could handle action. Above all else, he could handle a high profile action franchise. People forget that we have worse people in Hollywood (Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson come to mind as people who should have been aborted at birth). I will never understand the hatred for Len Wiseman.
Let's start with you, Eli Roth. When you made "Cabin Fever," I was there. It was an "Evil Dead" type homage with such a sick and twisted sense of humor that it was hard not to like it. Not to mention it starred Ryder Strong (let's face it, we all love the "Boy Meets World" kids). So it was only a matter of time before we go to see his second outing, which unfortunately turned out to be "Hostel." "Hostel" was a cash in movie that I am convinced would have never happened if it was not for the "Saw" franchise coming first. What is the difference between the two, you ask? That is simple. "Saw" has substance and story. It is not violence for the sake of violence. The is a method to the madness in "Saw" where as "Hostel" was just an attempt to show the audience how far the envelope could be pushed. Then we had "Hostel Part II," which was like waking up with your head stapled to the carpet. Pure surprise. I felt like I was raped twice in three years by the same person. It was the same story but with three women this time. Maybe if they do a "Hostel Part III" they will mix it up and have two guys and a girl, or two girls and a guy. Ohhhhhhhh wouldn't that be something?? I will never understand how "Hostel Part II" was ever made.
Next we come to Len Wiseman. The man who is married to Kate Beckinsale (reason enough to like him) and director of both "Underworld" movies and "Live Free or Die Hard." Every site I go to seems to bash this man. Fans hate him for some reason, and it is all because of his "Underworld" movies. When he was announced for "Live Free or Die Hard" people went nuts. You would have thought that it was the downfall of the film industry. He was just announced today as the director of the remake for "Escape From New York." Now you know my feelings on remaking the movie that made Kurt Russell's career. It makes about as much sense as finding a perfectly normal woman, marrying her, then cheating with Aristeo (burn). My feelings for this aside, I trust the man to do his job. With "Live Free or Die Hard" he showed us all that he could handle action. Above all else, he could handle a high profile action franchise. People forget that we have worse people in Hollywood (Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson come to mind as people who should have been aborted at birth). I will never understand the hatred for Len Wiseman.This next one I will catch a lot of shit for. I like an original romantic chick flick as much as the next guy (which means I hate most of them), but understand that there are some realy good ones out there. Ask any man or woman which romance movie they love to watch, and like clock work, the answer is always "The Notebook." The sexes are all crying during "The Notebook." Now I am not here to call it a bad movie, because it wasn't. Sure it had its cheese, but what romance movie doesn't? My beef with this one is that I do not feel as though it deserves the tears that it is getting. I cannot figure out why either. Maybe the actors? That is hard to imagine as both actors were great, and have been in pretty much every movie since then. My opinion lies in the characters. I did not believe in them at all. I did not care for them, or what happened to them. I sat there waiting for something to happen that would engage me, but it never came. So I sat there while everyone around me cried. What did I feel? I felt a little angry that I was missing out on what other people were getting out of this movie. So while you cried, I was mad. Maybe it is just me, but I cannot buy into a romance movie that does not have a sense of realism. Trust me, go home and watch "Alfie," a movie that has so much realism that it doesn't even acknowledge the existence of Jennifer Lopez. I will never understand crying during "The Notebook."
My man, Bruce Campbell. I'm a fan. I guess I am more of an "Evil Dead" fan than I am a Bruce Campbell fan. He is an outstanding guy, a great writer, and a shitty actor. Everything outside of the "Evil Dead" universe has been canceled or on TV as a Sci Fi Pictures Original. He is just a terrible actor. Are you telling me that "Alien Apocolypse" or "Waxwork II" are classics? I have supported the man in the past by giving each film a chance, or each TV a single viewing. I can't keep doing this anymore. It would be different if he played every character like Ash. Then I'd be talking about how cool all his Sci Fi movies are. Bruce, come back. Make one last "Evil Dead" movie with Sam Raimi and just call it quits. Do voiceovers for "Evil Dead" games, Old Spice commercials and write books for the rest of your life. Retirement has so much to offer. If not that at least make better choices. Since I can predict the future, I forsee BJ whining about how good "Burn Notice" is and how it was just picked up for a second season. To that I say even "Brisco County Jr." made it longer than one season. I will never understand Bruce Campbell's career choices.
My man, Bruce Campbell. I'm a fan. I guess I am more of an "Evil Dead" fan than I am a Bruce Campbell fan. He is an outstanding guy, a great writer, and a shitty actor. Everything outside of the "Evil Dead" universe has been canceled or on TV as a Sci Fi Pictures Original. He is just a terrible actor. Are you telling me that "Alien Apocolypse" or "Waxwork II" are classics? I have supported the man in the past by giving each film a chance, or each TV a single viewing. I can't keep doing this anymore. It would be different if he played every character like Ash. Then I'd be talking about how cool all his Sci Fi movies are. Bruce, come back. Make one last "Evil Dead" movie with Sam Raimi and just call it quits. Do voiceovers for "Evil Dead" games, Old Spice commercials and write books for the rest of your life. Retirement has so much to offer. If not that at least make better choices. Since I can predict the future, I forsee BJ whining about how good "Burn Notice" is and how it was just picked up for a second season. To that I say even "Brisco County Jr." made it longer than one season. I will never understand Bruce Campbell's career choices.To the producers at Lions Gate who continue to ruin my life. Why do you insist on remaining tight lipped about the future of "Saw?" What are you gaining from this? Did Aristeo put you up to this? Like I do not have it hard enough right now, you have to keep the fate of Jigsaw under wraps. I have invested so much of the last few weeks into reading all the blogs on "Saw IV." I have endured so many crappy opinions over at IMDB or The House of Jigsaw. And you, Darren Bousman, you have even come right out and said that you are reading the posts of these people. So you can obviously see some of the more retarded opinions, so why not show me some mercy by just telling me how Jigsaw can appear in not only "Saw IV," but two sequels beyond that? That would in no way ruin the huge twist you have planned. Am I to believe that Jigsaw only appears in the next trilogy in flashback sequences? Like me, that is a little hard to swallow (oh snap!). At this stage, I will be honest with you. If my life were a "Saw" movie, the huge twist would be that I am suing you and the producers of Lions Gate for taking precious time away from my life these past few weeks (time that is well spent at home doing nothing). I will never understand why the "Saw" franchise takes over my life from August to October.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: Rush Hour 3
When the first "Rush Hour" came out it was a pleasant surprise. Nobody really expected it to make as much money as it did. At that time, Jackie Chan's movies in Hong Kong were better than his Hollywood vehicles and Christ Tucker was a little known comic. The movie was funny as hell and had great action. Then came "Rush Hour 2," which upped the action and the comedy. At that time, it would appear as though the buddycop film was making a comeback. Not since the first three "Lethal Weapon" movies had that genre been this much fun. Prior to "The Simpson's Movie," "Rush Hour 2" was the highest grossing comedy. So to say that my hopes were high for "Rush Hour 3" is an understatement.
"Rush Hour 3" opens with James Carter (Chris Tucker) on traffic duty, which is exactly where we could see this guy going after the crazy police work he has done in the past. Lee (Jackie Chan) on the other hand is also in Los Angeles escorting his old friend, Ambassador Han. Han has some important information regarding the Triads, and he shares this info with the World Criminal Court. While making a speech, he is shot. So Lee and Carter once again reunite to fulfill the request of Han's daughter, Soo Yung, to find the man responsible. Turns out the one responsible works for the Triads and is none other than Lee's brother. Yes, that's right, the brother that was never mentioned in any of the other films. So Lee and Carter head to Paris, where they are driven by George (Yvan Attal), a cab driver who hates Americans. So then we get some action, some loud mouth comedy, and some dancing, which are all capped off in the end by showing some hilarious outtakes.
The problem with "Rush Hour 3" is that it was the "Lethal Weapon 4" of the franchise. They had all the time in the world (six years to be exact) to get it right, and they failed. It did not feel like the same series. Do not get me wrong though. Chris Tucker was funny as hell, but that might have been the only redeeming quality. Jackie Chan was not given anything to do. At 53, Chan still looks good, but I figured due to his age he kept it quiet this time around. Wrong. Watch any of Chan's movies in the last few years ("Gorgeous," "The Myth" and "New Police Story") and you will see him still kicking ass like he was in his 20s. "Rush Hour 3" had no big action sequences. Nothing that really stood out.I was also a little put off by Jackie Chan this time around. I read an interview with him talking about how even though he and Chris Tucker are BFFs, Chan dislikes making "Rush Hour" movies period. He does them because his fans love them, and it keeps his exposure in the United States. Chan was okay in the movie, but I just felt bad for him because in a film like this his talents are wasted. Chris Tucker still has a lot of energy, and he brings it out here. He is still one of the funnier comedians working today, and I wish he did more than "Rush Hour" movies.
"Rush Hour 3" is a letdown for me. I wanted to love this movie as I love the first two, but it was too far off the mark for me. The chemistry between Tucker and Chan is there, and for that, I would see a "Rush Hour 4" (supposedly set in Africa), but I am hoping that if they do one more entry, they spend a little more time and effort. Trust me, do what I did after seeing this movie. Go out and buy some real Jackie Chan movies like "The Legend of Drunken Master," "Operation Condor," and "Mr. Nice Guy." Friday, August 10, 2007
Why, Cuba? Why?
Friends, we are gathered here today to morn the loss of a great career. Some things in life just are not funny. The death of a friend who was driving drunk. Someone close to you who has turned to drugs and ruined his or her own life. The beautiful friend who choses the asshole and gets pregnant then dumped. Actually, all of those things are funny. What is not funny is the tragic career of Cuba Gooding Jr. It is no laughing matter people. It is depressing to see this man in action. Jason French got into his accident because he went out, got drunk, watched “Rat Race,” and then purposefully went and fucked himself up. BJ lives at home because frankly, he does not think he can handle a world in which “Snow Dogs” exists. Cuba had won an Academy Award for his role in “Jerry MacGuire,” and was outstanding in his roles in both “Pearl Harbor” (shit movie. Needed more Cuba) and “Radio.” Unfortunately, that resume also has the likes of “Rat Race,” “Norbit” and “Boat Trip.” Well, as if shitting three times was not enough, let us add one more to the list.
“Daddy Day Camp.” Daddy fucking Day Camp! Watching the previews for this was embarrassing enough. Then you find out that not only is it a shitty sequel to a shitty movie, but Cuba Gooding Jr. is taking Eddie Murphy’s leftovers. Wow, that should give your ass a hint and a half. Eddie Murphy made “Beverly Hills Cop III,” “Pluto Nash,” and “Showtime.” All shit movies that he AGREED to be in. So when Eddie Murphy turns down a movie role, you know it has got to be bad. So in comes Cuba Gooding Jr. and agrees to not only be in the sequel, but to PLAY THE SAME FUCKING CHARACTER. That is how bad it is. Even Jeff Garlin stayed away from this one. In fact, every single returning character has been recast.
What happened, Cuba? Do you need money? I will gladly kick Mike Camilleri out of my guest room and let you sleep in there until you get back on your feet. I doubt it is money, however. According to IMDB, the man has four other movies that are to be released this year. Four other movies that actually sound good. One of which is “American Gangster,” starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. So how does one go from making horrible comedies to starring in big movies, where I know for sure he will be great? I have no clue. Everyone is allowed to make a bad movie now and again, but four crap movies in the past few years?
Cuba, come back. The comedy thing is not working for you. You should have been nominated for your role in “Radio.” It was a great movie. Then I go to Hollywood Video and find you on the cover of not one, but two, direct to video movies. You have a movie coming out in 2008 called “Harold,” about a janitor who befriends a young boy in school going through a rough patch. It sounds awesome. Please do not follow it up with “Daddy Day Spa,” or “Rat Race Marathon.” I’m begging you. Haven’t you done enough? It’s time to quit messing around and come home now.
Maybe as fans, we could all get a collection plate going? Maybe sign a petition or something? I mean come on, he deserves it more than Jason French does. Burn.
“Daddy Day Camp.” Daddy fucking Day Camp! Watching the previews for this was embarrassing enough. Then you find out that not only is it a shitty sequel to a shitty movie, but Cuba Gooding Jr. is taking Eddie Murphy’s leftovers. Wow, that should give your ass a hint and a half. Eddie Murphy made “Beverly Hills Cop III,” “Pluto Nash,” and “Showtime.” All shit movies that he AGREED to be in. So when Eddie Murphy turns down a movie role, you know it has got to be bad. So in comes Cuba Gooding Jr. and agrees to not only be in the sequel, but to PLAY THE SAME FUCKING CHARACTER. That is how bad it is. Even Jeff Garlin stayed away from this one. In fact, every single returning character has been recast.
What happened, Cuba? Do you need money? I will gladly kick Mike Camilleri out of my guest room and let you sleep in there until you get back on your feet. I doubt it is money, however. According to IMDB, the man has four other movies that are to be released this year. Four other movies that actually sound good. One of which is “American Gangster,” starring Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe. So how does one go from making horrible comedies to starring in big movies, where I know for sure he will be great? I have no clue. Everyone is allowed to make a bad movie now and again, but four crap movies in the past few years?Cuba, come back. The comedy thing is not working for you. You should have been nominated for your role in “Radio.” It was a great movie. Then I go to Hollywood Video and find you on the cover of not one, but two, direct to video movies. You have a movie coming out in 2008 called “Harold,” about a janitor who befriends a young boy in school going through a rough patch. It sounds awesome. Please do not follow it up with “Daddy Day Spa,” or “Rat Race Marathon.” I’m begging you. Haven’t you done enough? It’s time to quit messing around and come home now.
Maybe as fans, we could all get a collection plate going? Maybe sign a petition or something? I mean come on, he deserves it more than Jason French does. Burn.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Damn You, Lions Gate
This happens every single fucking year at about the same time. I love the “Saw” series. For me they are well on their way to becoming my favorite horror franchise of all time. That title of course hinders on the release of “Saw IV,” which is to be released this October. For those of you who are familiar with the last entry in the series, you know of the fate that fell upon both Jigsaw and Amanda. For me, it was the ultimate “fuck you” ending for Jeff. BAM! Cut my throat and I got your daughter, bitch! Now that is gangster. Now another “fuck you” moment recently hit me. Aristeo brought up “Saw IV” a few days ago and ever since then I have not been able to get it out of my head. So to satisfy my own need to get this out and into the world, here is exactly what I am thinking about the upcoming entry.Jigsaw and Amanda are dead. Not like Freddy or Jason dead, but “my woman got shot and I got my throat cut open with a circular saw” dead. Despite this fact, we have a “Saw IV” that stars Jigsaw. What the fuck? How? Why? This is literally killing my brain cells. I cannot figure out a logical reason. The director, the producers and Tobin Bell himself have said, “Jigsaw is dead. He is not a ghost. He does not rise from the dead. He isn’t in flashbacks only. There is no evil twin either.” Yet Tobin Bell returns as Jigsaw in this SEQUEL. This rules out a PREQUEL aspect. Not only is he in the movie, but he has just as much screen time as he has had in the previous two films. I cannot wrap my mind around this concept. Everyone is being so damn cryptic about how this is possible. Apparently, his appearance in the film is explained perfectly within the first five minutes of the film.
It is also well known at this point that for me, “Saw” had the best ending in horror movie history. I have never met anyone who has told me, “I saw that coming.” Not only are you full of shit if you say that, but you should also be beaten with copies of “Charlie’s Angels.” Now, the director is saying that he returned to the franchise because of an ending that may overshadow even the first film. This is a HUGE statement. The balls on these guys. The nerve. Seriously. They are promoting this as the biggest entry in the series. Not to mention the ending is supposed to make you look at the series as a whole in a different light. Oh, and did I mention that a director has already been hired for “Saw V” and “Saw VI?” Yeah, you heard me.I cannot figure out if this is the boldest move in horror history, or the slow painful destruction of the smartest horror franchise. “Saw” has always managed to keep me on edge with anticipation. I have never guessed the ending of any of them, and have always left the theater appreciating the franchise as a whole. With Jigsaw dead, and another three movies being released, they are basically kicking it into high gear. I must not be as smart as I thought because my brain is seriously killing me.
So what do we know for sure? Well according to the director, there are key moments or items from previous films that we need to pay attention to in order to get an idea of what “Saw IV” has in store for us. We know that character wise both Detective Eric Matthews (Donnie Wahlberg) and his son Danny are important. The key Amanda had around her neck, the envelope she opens at the end of “Saw III,” the tape Jigsaw pours wax all over and the flashback of Jigsaw with a hot blonde are all important as well. None of this means anything to me as of yet. They won’t release any pictures or clips or any info that give me any kind of idea. Taking pride in the fact that I always know everything about movies has been a strong point for me, but this is just killing me.
Dr. Gordon rumors have been floating around since way back when “Saw II” was released, so I think it is unlikely to see him again, least as far as “Saw IV” goes. To make things even worse, the director has come out saying that he reads the online rumors. He reads what the fans think, and so far, nobody has even gotten close to what this film is about, or how it will end.My life sucks until October 26th, 2007.
Friday, July 27, 2007
The Four Movies You NEED To See
So the summer movie season is almost over, and then we get the drought (with a few exceptions) until next summer, which so far is shaping up to be the greatest summer for movies in history. The marketing on a lot of films have already begun, so here and now I am going to take a closer look at the bigger movies being released in late 2007 to 2008.
“Saw IV”
It wouldn’t be October without the release of another “Saw” movie. I count on them like clockwork now. So far the franchise has yet to lose steam, or let me down in any way. For me, “Saw IV” is the most daring and exciting for the simple fact that when “Saw III,” ended, it pretty much left little to no room for a sequel. We have been promised that no twin brother or dream excuse will be given, and that no supernatural explanation will be given. Yes, Tobin Bell is back as Jigsaw.
Here is what we know: Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda are dead. Now, upon the news of Detective Kerry's murder, two seasoned FBI profilers, Agent Strahm and Agent Perez, arrive in the terrified community to assist the veteran Detective Hoffman in sifting through Jigsaw's latest grizzly remains and piecing together the puzzle. However, when SWAT Commander Rigg is abducted and thrust into a game, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw has but ninety minutes to overcome a series of demented traps and save an old friend or face the deadly consequences.
Prediction: The film was written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, who were responsible for “Feist,” a film which I really enjoyed. Darren Bousman is back as director, which also says a lot. Jigsaw’s involvement this time around is explained within the first five minutes or so, and the twist is being hailed as the best in the series. As long as everything falls into place logically, this is shaping up to be the best in the series.
“John Rambo”
It has been damn near twenty years since the iconic figure of Rambo has blown shit up on silver screens across the world. Most people give “Rambo III” shit because it took place in Afghanistan. Which holds true, but it was back in the 80s before they decided to put a monkey wrench in our program. I have been looking forward to this film since I heard rumblings back in 5th grade. Rambo is simply one of the best characters ever created. He is a character, much like Rocky Balboa, that I care about what happens to.
Here is what we know: John Rambo now resides in Thailand. He owns a boat and catches poisonous snakes on the river. A group of Christian missionaries offer him money in exchange for a ride up river and into Burma, where villagers are being slaughtered and enslaved by invading armies. The missionaries offer food, water and medical support. After the missionaries are detained by the invading army, some are killed, while others are taken hostage. So Rambo enlists a few younger soldiers and goes in for the kill.
Prediction: I have watched the trailer for this over one hundred times. The first half of the trailer is amazing. We see Rambo much as he was in “First Blood,” just drifting and keeping to himself. He refuses to get involved in the Burmese conflict, stating that “it’s none of my business.” He has seen so much death, that he has nothing to hold onto. It is through these missionaries that he is shown God, and all that salvation can offer. The second half of the trailer looks to be a promise. A promise that this will be the bloodiest film in the franchise. Stallone takes this film back to the 80s and gives us a look at what a real action movie feels like.
“Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods”
Just as Stallone did with Balboa and Rambo, Ford is doing with his career defining role. He returns as Indiana Jones next summer, along with Spielberg directing and Lucas producing.
Here is what we know: Not much. The script has been kept under extreme wraps. Two rumors currently exist. One involving Area 51 and Aliens, which would fit into the time period the film takes place in. Another is the franchise coming full circle with another story about the Ark. This makes the most sense as we also see the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood. The cast is rounded out with Ray Winstone as Indy’s new sidekick, and Shia LaBeouf as Indy’s son. LaBeouf’s involvement is the most exciting part of this as every movie this kid shows up in turns to gold (“Dumb and Dumberer” doesn’t count).
Prediction: The last in the series to feature Ford as Jones. Rumor has it that Shia LaBeouf has signed on for three spin-off films. No idea how that will pan out. With everyone (minus Sean Connery) coming back, this cannot miss. There has never been a bad “Indiana Jones” film, and this should be no different.
“The Dark Knight”
When “Batman Begins” was released, it was instantly my favorite movie of that year. No film had as much working against it as this one did. Christopher Nolan and David Goyer started the franchise over from scratch, essentially separating itself from the Tim Burton movies. Tim Burton made shitty “Batman” movies. They were not DC Comics “Batman,” they were Tim Burton’s “Batman.” Hell, Jack Nicholson basically played himself in clown make-up. Then along came “Batman Begins,” and made us all forget that the other films even existed. Now we get the sequel, which is shaping up to be insane. Bale is back as Batman and Caine is back as Alfred. Gary Oldman is in there, too. They are joined by Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent (who eventually becomes Two-Face), Health Ledger as The Joker and Anthony Michael Hall (who is rumored to be Edward Nigma).
Here is what we know: With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as "The Joker".
Prediction: I will be seeing this movie about a hundred times. A trailer is attached to “The Simpsons,” and while it does not show anything you can certainly hear it. A conversation between Bruce Wayne and Alfred fills the theater. “In a move of desperation, the mob aligned themselves with someone they didn’t quite fully understand. Some men do not want logic. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.” Then we hear Ledger as The Joker. “Starting tonight, people will die. I’m a man of my word.” I am telling you, it makes a Jew weep. This time around Nolan has given The Joker justice. He won’t be anything like Nicholson. He will be just like he was in the comics. Not so much about the laugh as it is about the violence and insanity.
“Saw IV”
It wouldn’t be October without the release of another “Saw” movie. I count on them like clockwork now. So far the franchise has yet to lose steam, or let me down in any way. For me, “Saw IV” is the most daring and exciting for the simple fact that when “Saw III,” ended, it pretty much left little to no room for a sequel. We have been promised that no twin brother or dream excuse will be given, and that no supernatural explanation will be given. Yes, Tobin Bell is back as Jigsaw.
Here is what we know: Jigsaw and his apprentice Amanda are dead. Now, upon the news of Detective Kerry's murder, two seasoned FBI profilers, Agent Strahm and Agent Perez, arrive in the terrified community to assist the veteran Detective Hoffman in sifting through Jigsaw's latest grizzly remains and piecing together the puzzle. However, when SWAT Commander Rigg is abducted and thrust into a game, the last officer untouched by Jigsaw has but ninety minutes to overcome a series of demented traps and save an old friend or face the deadly consequences.Prediction: The film was written by Marcus Dunstan and Patrick Melton, who were responsible for “Feist,” a film which I really enjoyed. Darren Bousman is back as director, which also says a lot. Jigsaw’s involvement this time around is explained within the first five minutes or so, and the twist is being hailed as the best in the series. As long as everything falls into place logically, this is shaping up to be the best in the series.
“John Rambo”
It has been damn near twenty years since the iconic figure of Rambo has blown shit up on silver screens across the world. Most people give “Rambo III” shit because it took place in Afghanistan. Which holds true, but it was back in the 80s before they decided to put a monkey wrench in our program. I have been looking forward to this film since I heard rumblings back in 5th grade. Rambo is simply one of the best characters ever created. He is a character, much like Rocky Balboa, that I care about what happens to.
Here is what we know: John Rambo now resides in Thailand. He owns a boat and catches poisonous snakes on the river. A group of Christian missionaries offer him money in exchange for a ride up river and into Burma, where villagers are being slaughtered and enslaved by invading armies. The missionaries offer food, water and medical support. After the missionaries are detained by the invading army, some are killed, while others are taken hostage. So Rambo enlists a few younger soldiers and goes in for the kill.Prediction: I have watched the trailer for this over one hundred times. The first half of the trailer is amazing. We see Rambo much as he was in “First Blood,” just drifting and keeping to himself. He refuses to get involved in the Burmese conflict, stating that “it’s none of my business.” He has seen so much death, that he has nothing to hold onto. It is through these missionaries that he is shown God, and all that salvation can offer. The second half of the trailer looks to be a promise. A promise that this will be the bloodiest film in the franchise. Stallone takes this film back to the 80s and gives us a look at what a real action movie feels like.
“Indiana Jones and the City of the Gods”
Just as Stallone did with Balboa and Rambo, Ford is doing with his career defining role. He returns as Indiana Jones next summer, along with Spielberg directing and Lucas producing.
Here is what we know: Not much. The script has been kept under extreme wraps. Two rumors currently exist. One involving Area 51 and Aliens, which would fit into the time period the film takes place in. Another is the franchise coming full circle with another story about the Ark. This makes the most sense as we also see the return of Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood. The cast is rounded out with Ray Winstone as Indy’s new sidekick, and Shia LaBeouf as Indy’s son. LaBeouf’s involvement is the most exciting part of this as every movie this kid shows up in turns to gold (“Dumb and Dumberer” doesn’t count).Prediction: The last in the series to feature Ford as Jones. Rumor has it that Shia LaBeouf has signed on for three spin-off films. No idea how that will pan out. With everyone (minus Sean Connery) coming back, this cannot miss. There has never been a bad “Indiana Jones” film, and this should be no different.
“The Dark Knight”
When “Batman Begins” was released, it was instantly my favorite movie of that year. No film had as much working against it as this one did. Christopher Nolan and David Goyer started the franchise over from scratch, essentially separating itself from the Tim Burton movies. Tim Burton made shitty “Batman” movies. They were not DC Comics “Batman,” they were Tim Burton’s “Batman.” Hell, Jack Nicholson basically played himself in clown make-up. Then along came “Batman Begins,” and made us all forget that the other films even existed. Now we get the sequel, which is shaping up to be insane. Bale is back as Batman and Caine is back as Alfred. Gary Oldman is in there, too. They are joined by Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent (who eventually becomes Two-Face), Health Ledger as The Joker and Anthony Michael Hall (who is rumored to be Edward Nigma).
Here is what we know: With the help of Lieutenant Jim Gordon and District Attorney Harvey Dent, Batman sets out to dismantle the remaining criminal organizations that plague the city streets. The partnership proves to be effective, but they soon find themselves prey to a reign of chaos unleashed by a rising criminal mastermind known to the terrified citizens of Gotham as "The Joker".Prediction: I will be seeing this movie about a hundred times. A trailer is attached to “The Simpsons,” and while it does not show anything you can certainly hear it. A conversation between Bruce Wayne and Alfred fills the theater. “In a move of desperation, the mob aligned themselves with someone they didn’t quite fully understand. Some men do not want logic. They can’t be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.” Then we hear Ledger as The Joker. “Starting tonight, people will die. I’m a man of my word.” I am telling you, it makes a Jew weep. This time around Nolan has given The Joker justice. He won’t be anything like Nicholson. He will be just like he was in the comics. Not so much about the laugh as it is about the violence and insanity.
Monday, July 2, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: Transformers
All this year I have been looking forward to "Live Free or Die Hard." Anyone who knows me knows that movies get me going more than anything else. My life is all about movies. Always has been, always will be. Everybody gets one passion in life, and this is mine. That having been said, "Live Free or Die Hard" was the best movie of the summer up until tonight. Tonight, I nerded out (way more than I intended-more on that later). Seven of my friends and I went to the sneak peak of "Transformers," and let me tell you, Michael Bay may have just made the best career move of his life. Anyone who is anyone at least remembers Optimus Prime from their childhood. That is who this movie was made for. Not the little kids. It was made for all the nerds, myself included, who remember the cartoon and wanted a full scale live action assault of awesome.
The film opens with a command unit returning to a military base overseas (unit includes Josh Duhamel and Tyrese Gibson). Shortly after they arrive, an unidentified chopper flies in and begins walking around tearing shit up. Yes I said walking around. The first decepticon we see is Starscream (nerd). He is sent to this base to gather information on Sector Seven, a secret military base where a projcect, code named "Ice Man," is being kept. So we jump over to the good old USA where we meet Sam Witwicky (played with brilliance by Shia LaBeouf) and Mikaela (the smokin hot Megan Fox). Sam is a nerd while Mikaele is of course the hot chick who dates the jock asshole (she represents the women of America). So Sam's father (Kevin Dunn) takes Sam to purchase a used car. His first car ever. So Bernie Mac sells them an old Camaro, that Mac seems to have never seen before. That's right, bitches, it's Bumble Bee (you FUCKIN' nerd). Soon the car begins to drive on its own, opens doors on its own, and even sets the mood with music when Sam gives Mikaela a ride home. Then one night the car steals itself and drives to a location to transmit a beam of light, which essentially is used to call the other Auto-Bots to Earth. So now Sam and Mikaela learn of the All Spark, which both the Decepticons and Auto-Bots are after. The device can destroy the world by turning technology against humans, and forever enslaving the race. So the rest of the film is essentially action sequences with Cons vs. Bots.
Remember the feeling you got after watching "Jurassic Park?" Like not only is this something special, but also a milestone for special effects in general? Well this film has it all as well. There are a few sequences in there that I have no idea how they did it. The money was well spent because this film made everything look flawless in terms special effects. It is basically eye candy caught on camera.
I have been a fan of Shia LaBeouf since he was on "Even Stevens," so fuck everyone who just joined the bandwagon. The kid has instant charisma and timing that only rivals Michael J. Fox, and nobody hates him. This kid will go far. How far? Well, LaBeouf is now filming his role as the son of Indiana Jones in the fourth movie in that series, which is due out next May.
The movie itself was just incredibly fun to watch. Coming in a two and a half hours, it seemed to go by quickly and left everyone wanting more. Of course we get the nod to potential sequel, which of course there will be. With "Live Free or Die Hard" closing out an era of a franchise, "Transformers" kicks in with the start of a new one. From here on out though, expect every 80s cartoon to pop up as a live action film. "Thundercats," "Vultron," and "Masters of the Universe" are all being talked about as new film projects.So back to my being a nerd. This franchise is a cash cow. I am fighting every urge to get into my car right now, go to Toys R Us, and buy Bumble Bee and Optimus Prime. "You'll never get a girlfriend again!" Yes, but there is a good chance that will never happen again anyway. So really, what I am waiting around for.
Like it or not, "Transformers" is going on my best of the year list.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
It has been twelve years since John McClane graced the movie screen. He was last seen in the VERY underrated "Die Hard With A Vengeance" (which is where I get my blog name of course). In my opinion, the "Die Hard" series has been a series in which each film gets progressively better. There is no bad "Die Hard" movie, and for me, the third was always way ahead of its time when it was released. That having been said, this summer is all about "Live Free or Die Hard," the latest entry in the iconic series.
"Live Free or Die Hard" is a technology driven movie. Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) is an ex-government employee, who after 9/11, attempted to warn the government about their technology being wide open for terrorist attacks. He was denied by his superiors. When he attempted to go public, they destroyed his credibility and his career and he was left with nothing. The film begins with a hack job on various government systems, using programs designed by various low key hackers. These hackers are they killed one by one by the organization lead by Gabriel. One of these hackers is Matthew Farrell (Justin Long). Enter Detective John McClane (do I even need to tell you?), whose job is to escort Ferrell to the DHS in Washington DC to aid in stopping Gabriel. Gabriel's goal is to release a "fire sale," which essentially shuts down the world. First it starts with traffic accidents because of faulty signals, then it gets bigger with the stock market crash and eventually half of the Eastern seaboard shutting down. So McClane protects Gabriel against the usual henchman and dispatches them in interesting and unique ways, followed by a one liner that only McClane could make work in a film like this.
What makes this film work for me is its ongoing theme. John McClane is an analog cop in a digital threat. The bad guys are smarter this time around, and he is up against a plot that he never fully understands. To me, the film mainly showcases the high tech action films of late with the old school nature of "Die Hard" injected right in.The action in this entry is some of the best so far. Anyone who has seen the trailer knows exactly what I am talking about. The scene in the tunnel where the car flips through the air and nearly crushes McClane and Ferrell is amazing to me. I could watch that stunt over and over again. Most people have complained that the final showdown with Jet and the Semi was straight out of "True Lies," a movie in which I don't remember ever seeing a semi truck.
This "Die Hard" had the most at stake, or so it seems. This threat basically effects all of America this time around, as opposed to just New York or a single airport. I was impressed with the level of detail they had for the threats. Traffic accidents that occur due to faulty signals does not sound very menacing until you see an overhead shot of the city and you see dozens of accidents at every intersection. The very fabric of the country seems at stake and it basically is all leading up to a world wide meltdown.Bruce Willis easily slips right back into the character of John McClane without skipping a beat. All the same rules apply to McClane here (ie. McClane has to bleed, and you can't ever stop McClane). He has some great one liners here, but nothing quite as memorable as those found in the third movie. Justin Long did a good job with his jokes as well. To me this kid is one of those instantly likeable characters regardless of what movie he is in, and he worked well here. Above all else, Maggie Q held my attention the longest. She plays the girlfriend of Thomas Gabriel, and man, she was smoking hot. People are afraid of the PG-13 rating, but I can honestly say that at no time did I ever feel that anything was being watered down. It certainly did not feel PG-13.
Many people complain that it does not feel like a "Die Hard" movie. These are the same people who disliked "Die Hard With A Vengeance." The only time it didn't feel like "Die Hard" to me was the opening. Each "Die Hard" just starts. No credits. No nothing. This one had credits. Small problem, but not enough to take away from the overall experience. Also, the villian is by far the weakest of the series. I will give "Live Free or Die Hard" credit, however. A villian who is nothing more than a nerd with the know how to shut down the world is still just a nerd, therefore his actions are more menacing than his looks. Not everyone can be Hans Gruber.
This summer was all about "Live Free or Die Hard" for me. I was eagerly awaiting this movie and I am looking forward to the years that go by so that it settles in with the rest of the others. There is already talk from Bruce Willis that he wants to get one more "Die Hard" out before he gets too old. More good news.
Monday, June 25, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: 1408
Stephen King writes terrific stories. I love his "Dark Tower" series and believe that the genius of his work gets overshadowed by the overhyped "Harry Potter" series. Not to say "Harry Potter" is a bad thing, because it's not. Unfortunately for King most of his work gets turned into crappy movies. "Thinner" immediately comes to mind. However, with "1408" (add up the numbers people) we see that the words can be transferred to the screen in a meaningful way.
Mike Enslin (John Cusack) is a writer who travels around the world in search of the most haunted locations. He then turns out book after book about the top ten most haunted states, houses, graveyards, etc. Early on he states that while he does not believe in ghosts, nothing would thrill him more than to discover some sort of concrete evidence that hauntings do exist. So along comes a post card in the mail from The Dolphin Hotel in New York wit the words "Don't stay in 1408." Cute. So Enslin calls the hotel to make a reservation in 1408, but is denied as the room has been closed forever by management. Due to a legality in the state of New York, Enslin is allowed to make the reservation and he goes to meet with the manager of the hotel, Gerald Olin (Samuel L Jackson). Olin tries his best to prevent Enslin from becoming the next victim to the room. Since the hotel opened, twelve people have committed suicide and over thirty people have died of natural causes in that room. Nobody has lasted more than one hour. The owners of the hotel do not see fit to close it down and ignore the problem by closing off the room to the general public. People have drowned, cut their own throats, etc. Olin explains that a maid was locked in the bathroom for only a few minutes and when she was found, she had cut her own eyes out. So Enslin stays in the room and remains a skeptic as he believes "there are no ghoulies and ghosties and even if there were there is no God in which to protect us." So Enslin stays in the room and begins to experience strange occurences. Things move on their own, the bedside table clock begins to countdown from sixty minutes. Then ghosts appear, climates change and we encounter so many twists and turns that we are never quite sure what exactly is happening, or where it is happening.What "1408" does well is it takes all the best elements of related movies and packs them in here. While the movie never manages to be completely scary, it does succeed in being totally off the wall creepy. There are a lot of "oh that's so mean" moments, too.
"It's an evil fuckin' room." I do believe that Samuel L Jackson has pretty much coined the word "fuck." It has become his calling card in the same way "I'll be back" was to Arnold Schwarzenegger. He does the most with his cameo, and truly explains the backstory well enough to get us anticipating what the room actually has in store. The movie also works because John Cusack carries it so well. People tend to forget what a great actor he is. Of course, it is hard to tell when he does crap like "Must Love Dogs" or "America's Sweethearts." He is definitely underutilized in the world of film, but here he shows that he can carry an entire film on his shoulders. This is definitely the key to the film's success as most of the film is Cusack by himself.
"1408" is a good horror movie that makes you uneasy more than it makes the hairs on your neck stand up. I suppose the best way to describe it would be to call it a Twilight Zone episode, but a damn good Twilight Zone episode.
Monday, June 18, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer
The "Fantastic Four" has always been a kid's franchise. It had its serious moments as the years went on, but during the Golden Age of Marvel it was humorous and all about family. I was worried before seeing the very first "Fantastic Four" movie. My doubts were laid to rest after viewing the film as the director, Tim Story, utilized the humor for the film perfectly. It never got too serious for its viewers. It had fun, and so did the audience. I have been reading reviews for the sequel for months now. For the most part they have remained pretty 50/50. You either like it, or you really fucking hate it. Like kill your family hate it.
"Rise of the Silver Surfer" begins with Galactus (a huge cosmic storm, not the horned mechanical villian) draining a dying planet of its energy. The planet then crumbles and the Silver Storm races towards Earth. On Earth, Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd) and Sue Storm (a creepy looking Jessica Alba) are about to tie the knot. Of course Sue's brother Johnny (Chris Evans) and The Thing (Michael Chiklis) are involved as well. The fame of the Fantastic Four has shy rocketed and made them celebrities to the general public. This poses problems as Sue wants a quiet wedding, but with choppers in the air and the press at every turn, it will be anything but quiet. So soon the military arrives and asks Reed to build a device that will track the Surfer, as he is now causing problems on Earth. He is creating holes deep into the Earth that will allow Galactus entry to feed. Not only that, but Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon) is back for no apparent reason. So then we spend the rest of the movie with the Fantastic Four trying to convince the Silver Surfer that he doesn't have to obey Galactus and destroy different worlds.
Let me start off by saying how creepy Jessica Alba was in this sequel. In every movie up until now she looked fine. Then, she put on what seemed like a fake tan, blue contacts and platinum blond hair. She looks like those fake ass women who thinks they are hot with their fake and bake tan, but in reality, we all make fun of them. She was way more distracting than anything else. What sucks is that she is good looking just without all that crap.
The movie's humor once again worked nicely here. The jokes were not laugh out loud funny, but they got more than a chuckle on a few occasions. For a movie geared mainly towards the "tween" crowd, this film had a few innuendos. For example, how exactly does The Thing have sex with his girlfriend?The Silver Surfer (played by Doug Jones, but voiced by Lawrence Fishburne) is the best part of the film. By the end of the movie, you are seriously hoping for a solo outing with just the Surfer himself. Doug Jones is fantastic.
"Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" was a movie that never overstayed its welcome, like "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End." If you were a fan of the first movie, then chances are you will like this one even more. Tuesday, June 12, 2007
MOVIE REVIEW: Hostel Part II
One critic has gone as far as to say that "Hostel Part II" sets the horror genre back a decade. I say that critic is full of shit. "Hostel Part II" pretty much assassinates the genre. A decade? THAT'S ALL? Eli Roth, what have you become? I liked "Cabin Fever." His "Thanksgiving" trailer during "Grindhouse" was a highlight for me. I actually hated the first "Hostel." It is sadly a bunch of shit. It was violence for the sake of violence. Let's see how much gore we can include, just because we can. At least the "Saw" franchise is intriguing. It has a plot and a reason to exist. The violence helps move the plot along.
"Hostel Part II" begins with Paxton, which we know as the survivor from the original film. He is hiding out in the country with his girlfriend. Yeah, so he gets killed. Then we move to Rome where we meet three women (think the three guys from the original, only with vaginas). So they get tricked into going to a Hostel by a hot chick who clearly wants some lesbian action, which we sadly never get. Thanks, Roth. So one by one they disappear. One dies in a blood bath. No literally. She is hung upside down from the ceiling and a woman lies underneath. She then cuts the shit out of her and basks in the flow. Another girl gets a circular saw in the face and the final girl makes it out alive after chopping a guy's cock and balls off, then feeds it to the dog. 
Why would I give away the details and the ending? Because I do not want you to see this movie. Please. Save yourself. Watch "Saw." At least in that one you give a shit about what happens to some of those people. I wanted these three women to just die already. Whatever made this movie go by faster, I was all for.The only redeeming quality in the movie was the first killing scene. The blood bath. It was brutal. I could barely get through that one. The rest of the effects were cheesy and extremely gory. This was first and foremost a movie about missed opportunities. The whole idea behind "Hostel" is scary and would make for an excellent movie. Just not these movies. There was so much more they could have done with the sequel, but instead it was a tired rehash of the original complete with three travelers, one of which makes it out. Oh, and those annoying and confusing little kids from the first movie are back as well. Can somebody please tell me what these kids have to do with anything?
In summation, I love the "Saw" series. It is an example of a perfect horror trilogy. Tobin Bell, who plays Jigsaw, is signed for six movies. He died in "Saw 3!" Wow! Now that takes balls! I can't wait to see how "Saw IV" turns out when it comes out this October. My mom even looks like Jigsaw. That's how excited she is.
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