BACK IN THE DAY: Showdown in Little Tokyo

Man I used to love this movie. I remember being a little kid and seeing the movie poster and thinking how kickass it was going to be. Dolph Lundgren was the man, the He-Man if you will (and I am sure I’ll be reviewing “Masters of the Universe” in another Back in the Day).

If you have not seen “Showdown in Little Tokyo,” let me break it down for you. Dolph Lundgren plays a rebel cop (you can tell he is a rebel because of his unorthodox leather jacket with Chinese symbol on the back) who beats the shit out of Asian gangs. The members of the gang barely meet a height requirement for a roller coaster, so big ass Dolph easily just tosses them like dwarves. He is partnered with Brandon Lee and culture shock ensues. Then we meet Boss Man #1 (you can tell he is evil because he is a minority and his body is covered in tattoos), and learn that he killed Lundgren’s parents when he was a child, for no reason at all as far as I am concerned because the movie never explains. So the dwarf ass kicking ensues and we get to see naked Tia Carrere, although it’s obviously a body double (you can tell it’s a body double because her breasts suddenly triple in size when the robe comes off). Of course we get cool locations like bathhouses and upscale sushi joints (you can tell it is an upscale sushi place because all the patrons eat sushi off of naked women). All of this packaged with a nice little "Rocky" style training montage with a six foot five blond cop kicking a bag and screaming in slow motion.
I have learned a lot from watching this movie again. I have learned that if you do not dress in the conventional police uniform, you are not held to the same standards other police officers are held to (i.e. warrants, reading people their rights and reloading a weapon). I learned that Dolph Lundgren can lift an entire car on its side and use it as a shield. I also learned that there was some homosexual tension between Dolph and Brandon Lee. Just before a massive shootout happens, Lee proceeds to explain, “if we die I want you to know that you have the biggest penis I have ever seen on an old man.” What? Creepy. I guess the most innovative moment in the movie came when Boss Man #1 died on a Wheel of Fortune type deal as fireworks burned his body death.

This film is the first time I remember seeing classic action cop stereotypes, such as owning an upscale loft on a cop’s salary. Or how about when you have a gun (in this case a desert eagle) and you roll across the floor while firing?

This film came packaged with “Bloodsport,” another movie I remember loving as a child. All in all, five bucks was worth spending in order to relive childhood memories (and IQ level).